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August 8th, 2005
11:54 am - a rare update
molly is curled up on the couch. i've gotten her to talk, and eat, and she's not flinching as much anymore.
i think i'd like to ease her onto male contact as slowly as possible, however. she's even having trouble watching men on tv at the moment.
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July 25th, 2005
09:21 pm
bah, college students.
they make me tired, all of them.
Current Music: "tiny dancer" - elton john
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July 1st, 2005
12:52 pm
huzzah!
girl on lap, daughter on floor in front of me, and i have made a new deep space nine convert!
now we will watch star trek all the time when i have days off and molly will prowl the internet looking for dax/kira porn, she says.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankhappyp.gif) chipper
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May 11th, 2005
07:39 pm
it's really better that i know now, molly, than later; it gives me time to deal with it.
and i think i'm okay.
i'm making shepherd's pie tomorrow for elanor and me if you'd care to join us.
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May 9th, 2005
09:31 pm
we went out dancing. it's monday night and i was out dancing and drinking gin and tonics with a sweet brunette instead of grading papers. i think i'm a pod.
i don't know how many people guessed that it was a date. but i was toffed up pretty well, and she looks so good in her dark blue jeans and strappy heeled sandals and pink silk blouse ... and she dances like a wild thing, and she's got a sparkly butterfly for a belly button piercing.
then she drove me home and walked me to the door, just like a gentleman only more grinny. and ... i kissed the girl.
then sent the babysitter off. with too much of a tip, probably. oh well!
tonight was fantastic.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankwinkp.gif) giddy
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May 7th, 2005
06:25 pm
grading papers, blah blah blah.
can you spell 'confluence'? because i never thought it was that hard.
met with molly today over coffee. probably won't go anywhere, but it's nice to know that sometimes people are interested.
got to go pick ellie up from day care.
life continues as per normal.
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March 16th, 2005
02:51 pm
gosh, the outside is pretty. i just walked home from the college, and i can't get over how gorgeous everything is. the white blossoms on the deciduous trees, the smell of fresh flowers everywhere, and i got to pick ellie up early from day care ...
i love springtime. :-)
i think it's time to plan a *monstrous* shopping trip. felicity? you up for a girls' day? i'll foist my girl on ciaran when he gets home and we can hit the shops.
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March 9th, 2005
12:51 am
the next time you see ciaran, please tell him to get in touch with me. he was over tonight, and err, now he's not. i didn't think the conversation was over and i'd like another crack at him, but he seems to be gone. i've got to teach an early class tomorrow so i really have to go to bed - possibly aided in my attempts to sleep by hitting myself over the head with a mallet, but. yes. he needs to call me.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankscaredp.gif) anxious
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January 28th, 2005
11:44 pm
argh.
boys are stupid. especially when they've been boys for a very long time.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankangryp.gif) pissed off
Current Music: iron chef in the background. something with mishima beef.
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October 7th, 2004
02:27 am
good grief! 46 comments??
ugh!! i'm teaching an eight o'clock class tomorrow morning!
damn you all!
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01:33 am
i don't know what kind of person i would be if i rejected people i had accepted as friends just because there are some aspects of them that i'm not comfortable with.
when i came out of the closet as bisexual, my parents were displeased. elanor will never see her grandparents, and although neither of them are still alive, she still wouldn't see them even if they were; it's something i learned to deal with. i let them know who i was because i wanted them to love me for what i was and because i was tired of squirreling away secrets, and i learned that some people can be comfortable with you for who you are and some people can't.
so this seems different to me. it's because the differences are broader. felicity ... you can turn into a wolf. i thought for the longest time that when you folks were doing things "in wolf" you were actually doing things that were a bit illegal but not necessarily immoral; i got the vague impression from the discussion of crossing the border into canada away from a checkpoint, more fool me. must have given ciaran a heart attack ... ah, figuratively speaking.
but you are still my friend. i've few enough in the states as it is; i can't start turning them away.
i guess it's still a little hard to believe, peregrine, that you are actually older than i am; you're so light and free, so very young, and in some ways so very immature and irresponsible; i don't mean this in a cruel way, because i treasure your semblance of youth, but it comes as harder to accept that you are both older than i and that barring a silver bullet you will live on well after i'm dead of old age. but i can't accept your girlfriend's shapeshifting and not you and your (apparently) more traditional werewolfry. i don't know if we were ever friends, although perhaps your caution around me was due to an attempt to keep your secret and your roommate's; but whatever cordiality we have created, i hope to continue it and one day perhaps befriend you truly.
ciaran ...
wow. i still don't know what to think. this is harder; you are a whole nother animal, as they say. you've killed; you live on life force and even after two thousand years of existence you have not entirely come to terms with that, apparently, since you suffer from vampiric anorexia (strangest issues ever, my friend). i still need more time. i was ... i may have been falling in love with you, ciaran; it's all just so strange, all of a sudden, and as much as i'm certain that you would never knowingly harm me, even to save your own life ... i still don't know if i can deal with the two thousand year old vampire boyfriend thing.
thank you for your candor. i know it must have been hard for you and i'm sorry to have put you all in this position, although i think i did it merely by existing.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankthinkp.gif) contemplative
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October 6th, 2004
06:48 pm
i think i may be going completely mad.
uh.
i think it may be time to break out the vodka.
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August 24th, 2004
09:10 am
when i was a student, i never would even have considered cutting the first day of classes. i mean, i'm not going to say that i never missed classes while i was at university, because that would be a lie, but eight of thirty-five *cut* the first day of class. i mean, it is an eight o'clock class on tuesday morning, but why would you cut it? i don't understand. especially in a class as small as this, where the professor has a chance to learn your name and get to know your face.
i just don't understand.
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August 23rd, 2004
03:32 pm
well, the next quarter starts tomorrow morning. ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tookish_wolf is taking my 101 class, unless there's another peregrine delaney enrolled on campus. peregrine, it may interest you to know (if you read this) that you won't actually have to buy the supplementary reading; theciaran owns the strunk & white.
i'm annoyed by the two weeks before elementary starts that i'm working, because i'll have to put elanora in the teachers' day care for *two weeks*. i'm assuming i can get some kind of discounted rate due to the shortness of her stay ... either that or i'm just going to have to have her audit my classes, which is not exactly a fate i'd like to inflict on a young lady of her age.
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July 28th, 2004
05:23 pm
i got from theciaran the address of a website at which to make a vaguely me-looking avatar.
so, here it is. with a small version of elanora as well, even.
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02:46 pm
i think i'd like to win the lottery, which of course is notoriously hard to do without purchasing tickets.
i like this job, but i miss having a social life. it's been a long time. i suppose i could attempt a slow feat of friend-engineering over the internet, but ... the prospect makes me feel tired. so i shall complain in my journal instead, and there will be no one to note me being uncharacteristically whiny.
i'd better get back to work.
my own conscience is such a slave driver.
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07:12 am
some hotshot's bmw was parked in my regular space the morning.
i resisted the nigh-overpowering urge to key it.
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July 18th, 2004
12:00 pm
is it only bad mothers who feed their children top ramen?
well, i hope not. at least i put celery and brocolli and peas in it and served it with tuna-fish sandwiches. i even toasted the bread and cut the crusts off elanora's and cut it into quarters.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/niaha/kitty/ankgeekp.gif) dorky
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July 17th, 2004
10:41 am
twelve essays to go, and i am *done* grading for the weekend. it's bloody awesome being on top of everything!
elanora's moping because she hasn't made a lot of friends here. of course, moving when we did - at the top of summer - has made it difficult for her to *make* friends. there's a day-care center at the college and she's been going pretty regularly, of course, but she hasn't yet reached the age where having an accent makes you exotic and apparently she "talks weird". ah well, we girls can still have fun together. or she can have fun and i can half-watch; she's enjoying her "youth" chemistry set at the moment. i don't know what the chemicals in it are. i think it's largely vinegar, baking soda and a variety of food-colouring. perhaps i should've invested in a bigger tarp when i bought her the thing.
it occurs to me that i am inordinately lonely. no friends in washington ... or in america, really. i can call william and richard, but ... there's really no point in accruing long distance time without any emotional satisfaction.
i miss having places to go, things to do. it's not that i could ever really do them in sydney, not with holding down a grueling career and taking care of elanora, but i always felt like the option was there, if i were to go completely mad and skip out on all of my responsibilities of an evening, after the kidlet was in bed ... here i'd have to hop a greyhound and ride for two hours just to get to seattle, and i don't really feel it's worth it.
i should stop avoiding work. there's only twelve essays to go and they can't *all* be atrocious - can they?!
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July 16th, 2004
08:27 pm
i've just put elanora to bed. it's about a half an hour earlier than usual for her, but she hasn't been feeling well this evening. the move's been tough on her. it's really not very warm up here! i mean, i wasn't expecting it to be, not really, but the natives complain about the heat and the humidity and i keep thinking of home and wondering what the heck they're talking about.
i feel more broke than i am. rent's really not bad here, and the child support from william helps a lot. i miss william. i realize that it was for the best, but sometimes i catch myself lying awake at night going, "what does richard have that i don't?"
of course, the answer is obvious. but at least it's not because i was a failure as a wife or anything. and now we're at least in the same country, and california's not *actually* as far away as it feels ...
well, enough of that. it may be a journal that no one reads but me, but there's still no reason to hang about being mopey. carpe diem! or noctum, as the case may be. my latin is terrible, but i'm pretty sure evening isn't "diem".
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